"...But is that really in her head
But I just want to live each day to love her
for what she is"
Superwoman - Stevie Wonder
What started out as a quick drawing exercise, launched a series of different conversations on strong female leads. After a few characters, I got stuck after realizing that some of the strong characters I love like Storm and Supergirl are part of an ensemble.
First off, where is it that I could delve into these kinds of discussions without the negative flannel wearing angry "feminist" stereotype hovering over the conversation? Growing up in the south and talking to different kinds of people, I ended up hearing a certain comment over and over again. "You need a man to take care of you." Well, this is a touchy subject. And you know me; I'll prod at a touchy subject until it makes some damn sense. All I found out is that the whole subject of a significant has nothing to do with what I need to do in my life. A real honest love between people helps things make sense, it shines a light in the dark, but who I am as an individual has absolutely nothing to do with me needing another person. You want to talk about my heart, my feelings, and love then that's a whole different topic. I don't need a man, but when I am in love already then I sure as hell need, want, and feel that person in my life. But me as a woman and an individual really doesn't have anything to do with a man.
I was watching IFC with a Margret Cho interview the other day. My girls were instantly drawn into listening to some of her childhood stories as they had a familiar air to it. I noticed something significant in the absense of that fear I had when my children were first born versus how comfortable I am having a frank conversation with them in recent times. I was so afraid of the influence with mass media images and their personal identity. In my childhood, there was no celebrity like Margret Cho speaking frankly about her struggles with culture and identity. I remember I had a period where I wanted fuller lips and a smaller nose. I wanted to be 5'9" with a curvy figure. I am fine in my own skin and have been for most of my life but there was that one time realizing there weren't any role models that looked like me.
I grew up being a terribly shy child that only went wild with tomboy adventures only with my closest of friends. So public opinions and what was popular at the time was lost on me. Then I saw a movie in 1995 with Christopher Lambert and Joan Chen called The Hunted. The image of Joan staring directly into the eyes of the man that would murder her without fear was permanently etched into my mind. Also at the time was the second wave of feminism which was almost very near a backlash of any forward movement for women as individuals. Coming into your own as a teenager at that time was a very character building era. Sometimes it's the best kind of situation. If your mind is in the right place, you will look within you to see what you are made of instead of what popular opinion is at the time. Walls always have that top ledge to get over. The higher the wall, the more you realize how much you want it. The thicker the glass ceiling, the more finesse you need to break the damn thing open.
I see my girls grow into wildly independent free spirits. Each of them has their own distinct personalities. Every day I realize more and more how my children look at me and see their future selves. Once I realized this, I also understood that the strongest branch can break but the flexible reed bends. If I don't teach my children the gift of accepting vulnerability and the sheer fact that mommy can't make everything (better) then I am doing them a great disservice. I cannot be wonder woman in their eyes. I have seen how they fall apart when they see I don't always have it together. I needed them to know that the world isn't over when that happens. I had been technically on my own for so long that the only thing holding me back was being able to accept help, being able to show that I wasn't so damn strong by myself all the time. I had been on my own for so long because I had surrounded myself with the wrong types of people that would cause me to be guarded. How eye opening it was to change those kinds of associations and let in genuine and loving people.
The past few months have been exceptionally drastic with changes and so much growth that if I were to have a conversation with my former self at this time last January, it would be astounding to see just how many changes have taken place. Most of it would be me probably smacking myself on the ass like a fellow football teammate and saying, “Well, hot damn! You actually did follow through with that thing I said I wanted to do!”
Currently, I am writing and illustrating my children their own little story. I had grown so accustomed to sort of creating things when they weren’t available. If I figured the baby needed tiny arm warmers, I would spend the next few months learning to knit and making her some. If they needed a story to learn and look towards for guidance, I’d make them one. We’d discuss it. I’d let them create their own if mine was total crap. My eldest often looks at whatever I am working on and asks me questions. This draws it back to the initial conversation about female leads. I have to tell you one thing about my daughter, she has this attention to details that there is no way you can get it past her. She’s already analyzed it twice over before I can even blink. At the same time, I am going over another idea for an illustrated story with another female character. It had become apparent that whatever it was that I was doing always had a strong female lead.
Practically all of my work has a strong female lead, message, and challenge overcome. I hadn’t noticed it until my daughter was sort of unimpressed with the montage of comic book female leads that I was drawing. She wanted me to go back to the illustrations I was working on. She wanted to hear these relatable tales of adventure, challenges, and humor with a heart and soul. Since she was born, storytelling by word of mouth was the only way to get the little daredevil to stop leaping off of the couch and testing the limits of gravity and physics by pure experimentation. The stories I was beginning to introduce her to that were written before she was born had her glazing her eyes over. It was almost as if her life was all about writing her own story after watching me create things in a similar light whenever I was going through something or had trouble expressing things.
I am currently looking at the sketch of female leads as well as laughing at the picture of me as Wonder Woman jokingly making tacos for dinner. I really believe my girls have been my heroes. They’ve been the driving force with everything I have done to make things better for us. I’ve gained such a better perspective after watching them, learning from them, and feeling their eyes catch every little thing I am doing in my life. They make me laugh, cry, and sometimes hide under the covers in sheer fear of them because they are definitely going to surpass (and grow taller than) me when my eldest reaches the age of ten. I am so very extremely proud of them and would be a total mess without them. I am supposed to help them with their direction in life but they have helped me find mine. These tiny little girls are some of the strongest female leads I have ever known. Even though they are their own ensemble, they’ve all stuck out on their own first before making their own extraordinary league of superheroes.
But I just want to live each day to love her
for what she is"
Superwoman - Stevie Wonder
What started out as a quick drawing exercise, launched a series of different conversations on strong female leads. After a few characters, I got stuck after realizing that some of the strong characters I love like Storm and Supergirl are part of an ensemble.
First off, where is it that I could delve into these kinds of discussions without the negative flannel wearing angry "feminist" stereotype hovering over the conversation? Growing up in the south and talking to different kinds of people, I ended up hearing a certain comment over and over again. "You need a man to take care of you." Well, this is a touchy subject. And you know me; I'll prod at a touchy subject until it makes some damn sense. All I found out is that the whole subject of a significant has nothing to do with what I need to do in my life. A real honest love between people helps things make sense, it shines a light in the dark, but who I am as an individual has absolutely nothing to do with me needing another person. You want to talk about my heart, my feelings, and love then that's a whole different topic. I don't need a man, but when I am in love already then I sure as hell need, want, and feel that person in my life. But me as a woman and an individual really doesn't have anything to do with a man.
I was watching IFC with a Margret Cho interview the other day. My girls were instantly drawn into listening to some of her childhood stories as they had a familiar air to it. I noticed something significant in the absense of that fear I had when my children were first born versus how comfortable I am having a frank conversation with them in recent times. I was so afraid of the influence with mass media images and their personal identity. In my childhood, there was no celebrity like Margret Cho speaking frankly about her struggles with culture and identity. I remember I had a period where I wanted fuller lips and a smaller nose. I wanted to be 5'9" with a curvy figure. I am fine in my own skin and have been for most of my life but there was that one time realizing there weren't any role models that looked like me.
I grew up being a terribly shy child that only went wild with tomboy adventures only with my closest of friends. So public opinions and what was popular at the time was lost on me. Then I saw a movie in 1995 with Christopher Lambert and Joan Chen called The Hunted. The image of Joan staring directly into the eyes of the man that would murder her without fear was permanently etched into my mind. Also at the time was the second wave of feminism which was almost very near a backlash of any forward movement for women as individuals. Coming into your own as a teenager at that time was a very character building era. Sometimes it's the best kind of situation. If your mind is in the right place, you will look within you to see what you are made of instead of what popular opinion is at the time. Walls always have that top ledge to get over. The higher the wall, the more you realize how much you want it. The thicker the glass ceiling, the more finesse you need to break the damn thing open.
I see my girls grow into wildly independent free spirits. Each of them has their own distinct personalities. Every day I realize more and more how my children look at me and see their future selves. Once I realized this, I also understood that the strongest branch can break but the flexible reed bends. If I don't teach my children the gift of accepting vulnerability and the sheer fact that mommy can't make everything (better) then I am doing them a great disservice. I cannot be wonder woman in their eyes. I have seen how they fall apart when they see I don't always have it together. I needed them to know that the world isn't over when that happens. I had been technically on my own for so long that the only thing holding me back was being able to accept help, being able to show that I wasn't so damn strong by myself all the time. I had been on my own for so long because I had surrounded myself with the wrong types of people that would cause me to be guarded. How eye opening it was to change those kinds of associations and let in genuine and loving people.
The past few months have been exceptionally drastic with changes and so much growth that if I were to have a conversation with my former self at this time last January, it would be astounding to see just how many changes have taken place. Most of it would be me probably smacking myself on the ass like a fellow football teammate and saying, “Well, hot damn! You actually did follow through with that thing I said I wanted to do!”
Currently, I am writing and illustrating my children their own little story. I had grown so accustomed to sort of creating things when they weren’t available. If I figured the baby needed tiny arm warmers, I would spend the next few months learning to knit and making her some. If they needed a story to learn and look towards for guidance, I’d make them one. We’d discuss it. I’d let them create their own if mine was total crap. My eldest often looks at whatever I am working on and asks me questions. This draws it back to the initial conversation about female leads. I have to tell you one thing about my daughter, she has this attention to details that there is no way you can get it past her. She’s already analyzed it twice over before I can even blink. At the same time, I am going over another idea for an illustrated story with another female character. It had become apparent that whatever it was that I was doing always had a strong female lead.
Practically all of my work has a strong female lead, message, and challenge overcome. I hadn’t noticed it until my daughter was sort of unimpressed with the montage of comic book female leads that I was drawing. She wanted me to go back to the illustrations I was working on. She wanted to hear these relatable tales of adventure, challenges, and humor with a heart and soul. Since she was born, storytelling by word of mouth was the only way to get the little daredevil to stop leaping off of the couch and testing the limits of gravity and physics by pure experimentation. The stories I was beginning to introduce her to that were written before she was born had her glazing her eyes over. It was almost as if her life was all about writing her own story after watching me create things in a similar light whenever I was going through something or had trouble expressing things.
I am currently looking at the sketch of female leads as well as laughing at the picture of me as Wonder Woman jokingly making tacos for dinner. I really believe my girls have been my heroes. They’ve been the driving force with everything I have done to make things better for us. I’ve gained such a better perspective after watching them, learning from them, and feeling their eyes catch every little thing I am doing in my life. They make me laugh, cry, and sometimes hide under the covers in sheer fear of them because they are definitely going to surpass (and grow taller than) me when my eldest reaches the age of ten. I am so very extremely proud of them and would be a total mess without them. I am supposed to help them with their direction in life but they have helped me find mine. These tiny little girls are some of the strongest female leads I have ever known. Even though they are their own ensemble, they’ve all stuck out on their own first before making their own extraordinary league of superheroes.
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